1.You pick the wrong person because you use the relationship to escape from personal problems and unhappiness.
If you are unhappy and single, you’ ll probably be unhappy and ma`rried , too. Ma`rriage does not fix personal , ps`ych©log€ical and em`otio`nal problems If anything, ma`rriage will exacerbate them.
If you are not happy with yourself and your life , take responsibility to fix it now while you are single . You ‘ ll feel better , and your future spouse will thank you.
2. You choose the wrong person because you get intimately involved too quickly .
Intimacy before the commitment of marriage can be a big problem because it often precludes a fully honest exploration of important issues . Phy`sical involvement tends to cloud one’ s mind. And a clouded mind is not inclined to make good decisions
It is not necessary to take a “test drive” in order t find out if a couple is physically compatible. If yo do your homework and make sure you are intellectually and emotionally compatible , you do ‘ t have to worry about it . Of all the studies done on divorce , incompatibility in the intimate arena i almost never cited as a main reason why people di`vorce.
3. You pick the wrong person because you use the relationship to escape from personal problem and unhappiness.
If you are unhappy and single, you’ ll probably be unhappy and mar`ried , too. Mar`riage does not fix personal , psychological and emot`ional problems If anything, marriage will exacerbate them.
If you are not happy with yourself and your life , take responsibility to fix it now while you are single . You ‘ ll feel better , and your future spous will thank you.
4. You pick the wrong person because you focus more on chemistry than on character
Chem`istry ignites the fire , but good character keeps it burning . Beware of the ” I’ m in love ” syndrome . “I’ m in love ” often means , ” I’ m in lust . ” Attraction is there, but have you carefully checked out this person’ s character ?
Here are four character traits to definitely check for :
Humility : Does this person believe that “doing the right thing ” is more important than personal comfort ?
Kindness : Does this person enjoy giving pleasure to other people? How does s / he treat people she doesn ‘ t have to be nice to? Does s /he do volunteer work? Give charity ?
Responsibility : Can I depend on this person to d what s /he says s /he ‘ s going to do ?
Happiness : Does this person like himself ? Does s /he enjoy life ? Is s /he em|oti|onally stable ?
Ask yourself : Do I want to be more like this person ? Do I want to have a child with this person ? Would I like my child to turn out like hi or her.
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